Why So Blah?

Now Playing: Editors - Papillon (Tiesto Mix)

Anyone who knows me knows I'm shallow like a kiddie pool. I don't just have one fake-imaginary-tv-movie-boyfriend, I have a whole collection. When I'm in the mood for funny banter, there's Nathan Fillion; Abhishek Bachchan has intense and debonair in his pocket; Matthew Bomer is just uncomfortably good-looking, & Shahid Kapoor does that quiet, serious charm thing very well and dances like a dream. So, when I heard Chance Pe Dance described as Shahidporn, I knew I had to watch it.

Me: Chance pe Dance is apparently TOTAL Shahidporn. We must watch it. 

A: Err...

Me: Must. Watch. It. 

A: Um, okay? 

Sadly, the movie sucked. There's no way I can dress it up - this was a total turkey. The music was completely unmemorable - which is criminal in a dance movie; the plot was completely incohesive - Shahid teaches schoolkids how to dance until that plotline is summarily and abruptly wound up; and perhaps worst of all, Shahid didn't even take off his shirt till the big finale number.

Look, if you're going to play to the cheap seats, then, well, play to the cheap seats. If your movie sucks, then don't wait till the end to distract your audience with Shirtless Shahid, because by then they've spent the entire movie cracking wise. Which, by the by, is yet another sign that the movie totally lost its audience, because at the showing we caught, we spent the whole movie making really loud comments and we didn't get one shush or glare. I don't make a habit of talking through a movie, but really, this was the only way to get through this one.

This is not to say that Chance Pe Dance didn't have its bright spots. Shahid did do a great job; Genelia is funny and adorable (especially with her Scooty) though it's difficult to buy her as a choreographer when she's  just not on the same level as Shahid when it comes to dancing. It's a shame, because they're both bringing their A-game to a movie that's definitely minor league.

Bottomline: If someone describes this movie to you as a fun timepass movie, they are lying liars who lie. Do not take a chance on Chance Pe Dance.